《时代周刊》上周刊出关于亲密育儿法的文章，并用了一张颇有争议的哺乳照，和引导争议的标题，引发了对育儿方法的大辩论，很多人称之为成功地引发妈妈与妈妈之间的战争。

西尔斯医生针对《时代周刊》的文章和封面，发表了理性回应。感谢大本营翻译组的志愿者妈妈们，xshgirl，糖心儿小妞，jayway，尤其是salutvivi，昨天下午和晚上接力翻译，让大家一早就能看到中英文对照版。

虽然西尔斯大叔看不到，但是，我们还是在这个帖子里诚恳地感谢他和他们家一下。因为他们的努力，我们这里很多妈妈和宝宝，很多家庭，真的受益了。

也以此文章与所有的妈妈爸爸共勉——母乳喂养，不仅仅是一些具体的做法和技术，更是最自然的哺育方式，是达成与宝宝亲密，给宝宝支持的一个有效方式。希望妈妈们用母乳滋养宝宝身心的同时，也让哺乳经历滋养自己的内心，让良好而温馨的育儿理念在自己的心里扎根，真正享受一段不纠结的养育！
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西尔斯医生反馈全文：

The cover was risky but a brilliant hook by Time Magazine to attract readers, and they achieved their goal.  The writer, Kate Pickert, herself a new mother and one of Time’s most diligent writers, sincerely wanted to increase awareness of the Sears’ family contribution to parenting and family health.  She lived with our family for two days, followed me in the office, and spent hours with me on the phone in an attempt to be factual.  While the cover photo is not what I or even cover-mom Jamie would have chosen, it accomplished the magazine’s purpose.  And, as some attachment dads observed, finally a magazine displays a woman’s breast for the real purpose for which they were designed – to nurture a child, not to sell cars and beer.  Cover-mom Jamie is a super-nice person and highly-educated in anthropology, nutrition and theology.  I enjoyed the several hours I spent with her family and her kids shined with the social effects of attachment parenting.

《时代周刊》用了一个容易引起争议但能巧妙吸引眼球的封面，也确实达到了这个效果。文章的作者Kate Pickert本人是个新母亲，也是《时代周刊》最勤奋的作者之一。她真诚地希望让更多人知道西尔斯家族在养育和家庭健康方面的贡献。她和我们家人共同生活了两天，跟随我去过办公室，也与我通过数小时的电话来尽力做到文符其实。尽管那张封面照片不是我，更不是封面母亲Jamie会愿意选用的，但它达到了杂志想要的效果。一些践行亲密育儿的父亲也表示，他们发现终于有一个杂志展示了女性乳房真正的功能——不是促销车和啤酒，而是哺育孩子。封面母亲Jamie热情善良，知书达理，受过人类学、营养学和神学方面良好的教育。我与她的家庭共渡的几个小时非常愉快。在她的孩子们身上，也充分体现着亲密育儿对儿童社交能力的贡献。

Even though I’m used to being misunderstood and misquoted, as is attachment parenting (AP), I had a few concerns.  AP is not extreme.  It’s very natural and instinctual.  It’s the oldest parenting style in the world.  Nor is breastfeeding three years extreme, at least throughout the world.  The World Health Organization (WHO) recommends for optimal health children be breastfed for at least two years and sometimes recommends three years.

另 一个误区是认为职场母亲无法实现亲密育儿。事实正好相反，女性最善于身兼数职。她们能同时承担多项工作。亲密育儿可根据父母的工作时间进行调整，重新将工 作繁忙的父母与孩子紧密联系在一起，反而使工作和育儿更加轻松。正是秉承亲密育儿的母亲们，促进了职场母婴室的建立，推动了一系列法律的出台，使更多职场 母亲能够有机会继续哺乳。

Regarding the science criticism, it’s impossible to scientifically prove by a placebo-controlled, double-blind, randomized study (the gold standard in science) that AP works better than a more distant style of parenting. You would have to take a thousand mothers who practice AP and another thousand who don’t, and see how their kids turn out. What parent would sign up for such a study? Yet there is one long-term effect that science does agree on: The more securely-attached an infant is, the more securely independent the child becomes.

说 到科学分析法，我们无法用控制对照组、双盲、随机的研究（检验一项研究是否科学的三个黄金标准）等科学分析的方式来证明亲密育儿优于传统的养育风格。因为 您需要挑选一千名践行亲密育儿的母亲和另外一千名不实践的，来观察她们孩子的发展情况。什么样的父母会参与这样的研究呢？不过亲密育儿的一项长期影响确实 已得到科学家的认可：婴儿期与父母更亲密，孩子会变得更有安全感，更独立。

I’m disappointed the article did not pay more attention to the bottom-line of attachment parenting: how AP children turn out – and that’s where this style of parenting really shines. In my 40 years of studying the long-term effects of what parents do to help their children turn out well, AP kids generally are more: empathetic and compassionate, relate better to people, are easier to discipline, and are just nicer to be around. When I walk into an exam room in my office, an AP baby, like a little sunflower, naturally turns toward my face and lights up. I’ve yet to see an AP child be a school bully. On the contrary, they are the ones who try to comfort a hurting child.

令我失望的是，文章并未充分关注亲密育儿的精髓部分，即在亲密育儿环境中成长的孩子长大后会怎样？而这才是这种养育风格真正体现价值的地方。40年 来，我一直在研究父母培养孩子方式的长期效果，发现接受亲密育儿法的孩子通常来说，更体贴人意，更富有同情心，与他人的互动更为良性，更遵守规则，更平易 近人。当我走进办公室的检查室，亲密育儿的宝贝，仿佛一朵灿烂的向日葵，自然地转过头来，用明亮的大眼睛看着我。我从未看到过亲密育儿方式下长大的孩子成 为学校里的恶霸。不仅如此，他们还经常试图安抚举止莽撞的同伴。

Attachment parenting is not an all-or-nothing, extreme, or indulgent style of parenting. I advise moms and dads that the seven Baby B’s (birth bonding, breastfeeding, babywearing, bedding close to baby, belief in baby’s cries, beware of baby trainers, and balance) are starter tools (remember, tools not rules) to help parents and infants get to know each other better. And families can modify these tools to fit their individual family situation.

亲密育儿并非不容妥协、极端或溺爱的养育方法。我建议各位将这七个育儿诀窍——新生儿出生后立即与父母建立亲密的联系、母乳喂养、把宝宝“背”在身上、与宝宝同眠、学会判断并及时回应宝宝哭声、规避关于如何训练宝宝的各种提议，并找到平衡点——作为新手父母的育儿指导方法（注意，是指导方法，而非规定），以此促进父母和婴儿之间更好地相互了解。每个家庭均可根据自身情况对此加以调整。

Over my years of mentoring attachment parents, the main two words of feedback I have heard is empowering and validating.  My “helper’s high” file is filled with thank you letters such as: “Thank you, Dr. Bill, for validating what my heart and gut tell me is right.”  “Thank you, Dr. Bill, for empowering us new parents with your personal experience to help us enjoy our children more.”

根 据我多年指导父母们亲密育儿的经验，最常见的两个反馈是：给我信心，确实有效。让我感到欣慰的是，很多人来信表示感谢，并告诉我：“西尔斯医生，感谢您帮 我验证了我内心的声音和直觉是正确的；西尔斯医生，感谢您以亲身经历和经验支持我们这些新手父母，让我们更好地享受身为父母之乐。”

As an investment banker dad once told me: “AP is one of the best long-term investments you can make in giving your child a greater chance of growing up happier, healthier, and smarter.”  Aren’t those the three main qualities we all want for our children?

一位从事银行投资工作的父亲曾对我说：“亲密育儿能让孩子有更多的机会成为更快乐、更健康、更睿智的人，它是最好的长线投资之一。”这不正是为人父母希望孩子们能拥有的三个主要品质吗？